lol thought this was amusing...

Because everything you read on the internet is true . . .

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's, (sent
to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the

fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend

whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a
rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as

everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which
is why the government made them change their name to KFC.

Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out
of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on
his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because
it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that

would destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who
was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the
computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie
recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last
week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a
free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to
everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to
report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press

#90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the
guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with
an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped around a note that said,
"Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that
little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for
everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society
has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two
e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the shape of an angel
(if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good
luck but for 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to
fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the
way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he
flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will
receive 4 green M&Ms, but if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will

report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will

get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife will
develop breast cancer from using the anti-perspirant which clogs the pores
under your arms, and the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.